MAXIM Magazine Names Angus Young "Greatest Short Dude of All Time."

NEW YORK - Friday, November 18, 2005 - Angus Young, lead guitarist of AC/DC, tops Maxim's list of the "25 greatest short dudes of all time," standing tall at 5 feet 2 inches! Former NBA guard Spud Webb, at 5 feet 7 inches, is No. 2, followed by Napoleon Bonaparte (5 feet 4 inches). The magazine, in its December issue, claims to be helping women "begin a long overdue fight against their genetically determined shallowness when choosing a partner." Yoda, of "Star Wars" fame, at No. 6, is the shortest on the list. His height is calculated at 2 feet 2 inches.

Anybody who has spent much time with me knows my feelings about AC/DC being the greatest straight ahead rock and roll band of all time, and that Angus himself is one of my very few personal heroes. His down to earth persona and humble approach to all things media are a fine example of how a person who achieves incredible fame should act.

May he continue to rock for a long time!!!

JVH

I got it! Another visit to the Doctor, oh joy.

I scored an ever elusive flu shot today! Woohoo! They have been harder to come by this year than they even were last year. Paula had to go to the doctor, and I called yesterday and asked if I could get a shot and they said they weren't sure, were out and were getting extremely limited amounts, but may get more and would add me to the "list." I made the trip in today with Paula, and they had a shot for a person who missed their appointment this morning so they gave their shot to me! Now that is Doctor Love! (Not like the song, for all you KISS fans) Of course, my doc is a female, as are the PA's and Nurses at the office, maybe this old fart still has some magic left in the trick bag after all!

Shit, I'm not kidding myself. I know they like me and probably feel sorry for me, which I hate, but what the hell, it got me the service I needed, and I have done flu shots since 1999 and don't remember the last bad flu I got. Of course, having said that, I might as well make a reservation at the hospital for Thanksgiving dinner, right?

Anyway, got some relief started for Paula's poor leg. I have been cleaning it with hydrogen peroxide twice a day for the last month, and it has seemed to get worse, not better. Well, come to find out, (to the doctor's HORROR) you shouldn't use peroxide after the FIRST CLEANING, as it actually eats away the new tissue (scab, etc) and keeps the wound OPEN. (Not to mention burns like fucking battery acid, as my lovely wife has gotten very familiar with recently. The doc asked what I had been doign for the wound and I was telling her and in mid sentence her eyes got BIG and she said "NOOOO!" like I was trying to kill Paula slowly or something. I wanted to DIE.

So as it turns out, Paula is getting some new meds and bandages, and they have ordered some new treatment that I can't even pronounce, and are referring her to a wound care specialist at Christ Hospital, a large regional hospital in Oak Lawn. I am sworn off peroxide, and felt like I needed to assure the doctor that I was not trying to harm my innocent little lady. She has had an awful month, and come to find out I have been going out of my way AND MAKING IT WORSE. It is my wonderful VanHorn luck. Just about everything I touch either brings me pain, makes me fat or loses value. Its an amazing life.

Oh joy.

Some Days More Than Others . . .

Living about 5 hours away from where I grew up and spent the first 35 years of my life, I get asked fairly often whether I "miss home" or not. My answer is usually the same, "Yes, but some days more than others." Well, today is one of those days. I got a rather touching email from one of the best friends I have ever had in my life, and it really hit me at a rather low point emotionally, and made me really miss being there with him, with my family, and with friends. It has been a tough year for me physically, and lately Paula has had troubles too, and we are both just worn down completely. We both go to the doctor tomorrow to see if we can get some more relief o some sort.

It is just nice for me to know that I still have friends who love me and think of me no matter how long I have been gone, and that they care about Paula as well. And my family couldn't be a whole lot better, they are very loving and I am proud of how much I love them. I really hope things start to look up by year's end. (My knee and back troubles, and Paula cut the back of her leg open on the escalator at work and is really suffering with it.) And of course we both could stand to lose a pound or two here and there (as I point to over a hundred places around my body) . . .

Anyway, trying not to feel sorry for myself, but hoping things get better. When I get down, I really miss the comforts of "home." Now that I am living in "Chicagoland," home is pretty much wherever Paula happens to be. (I'm usually not far) She is what keeps me as sane as I remain . . .

Bad Dreams

Usually I don't dream. Not that I am boring, or don't have an incredible fantasy life or anything, I just don't dream. But the last week I have really been making up for lost time. Nothing good either. And quite creative. In years past, most of my dreams that I could remember were me searching for something. I never found anything, but I was almost always looking. Lately, I have either been witnessing people get killed, die in an accident, or hunting them down and killing them myself. Graphically.

In my daily life I am not much of a pushover, but I don't view myself as a killer type either, LOL. The dreams have been quite unsettling. Last night was quiet, which was nice. I have had alot of stress at work lately, which finally the projects I was under pressure with got completed Tuesday. It may have been related to that. I think the thing that scares me the most is I used to sleepwalk as a child and young adult. I do NOT want to start that again now as it could be aweful. If I fell I'd be a goner! It has been over 15 years since I last walked in my sleep (at least that I know of) and I am hopeful I can avoid it forever.

Anyway, I thought getting it off my mind a little here might also help in dealing with it. Other than that, things are status quo. (They generally suck)

Cheery aren't I?

Thank God Its Thursday Night

Well, I almost killed a couple coworkers I really care about today. Being a perpetual miracle worker has its disadvantages, let me tell you. When your sales staff (and management) become accustomed to "if I can sell it, Jim can make it" and when there is no concern for deadlines or the fact that, maybe I was already SO FREAKING BUSY WITH MY REGULAR STACK OF CRAP I MAY NOT GET TO GO HOME, there are just . . . well . . . you know . . . Just those days when . . . hearing "Hey, you're the best" just really doesn't fix things, you dig?

Well, today was SO one of those days I could puke. My chest was pounding by the time I even made it to my office, because I had already heard voice mail and received multiple emails regarding the CLUSTERFUCK I was walking into. Then on the busiest day I have had in weeks I am faced with an hour and half of MANDATORY training (on software we won't be using for another six months) in the middle of my day. So then after I get back from training and am listening to my voicemails of all the people wondering if I dropped dead or had actually taken hostages to the roof of the building, I find out that the main piece I had been working on was completely sold and presented to the customer and myself in the wrong format, and that I would have to scrap the original layout and start from scratch, including make a new template to start off of.

This was in addition to my usual Thursday (busiest day of the week) work. Anyway, once my Director realized I was about to blow (my freakishly large cartoon head, right off my body) he started making calls and got our deadline pushed out until Monday, which at least eased up today. Then I elected to bring a little work home because it didn't have to final tonight. So I made it, at least through my hellish Thursday. Thank God it's Thursday Night. Patio Barbeque Pork and Chili, some television, maybe ONE beer. All is good . . .

Till tomorrow anyway.

Guns and Doctors

A Humorous Email I received recently . . . Enjoy!

Doctors:

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services)

Now think about this:

Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million..)
(B) Accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.

(Statistics courtesy of FBI)

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention . . .