A SPORK! My Kingdom for a SPORK!

Oh man today was a bitch. The hunger really worked on me this afternoon. I try to wait as long as I can before I partake in any on my few fucking lunch items, so that I don't suck them down and then have to agonize for six hours before I get some sort of liquid or gruel for "supper." And the germ freak I am, I bring plastic utensils from home (I keep a stash in my desk) to eat with. Well, when I was finally ready to colapse, I busted out my winky (which is a hysterical inside joke now, because this is the name of the off brand sugar free jello that my friend Fay (God bless that girl) found for me to eat) and I carefully peeled the lid off (I have perfected the method of opening single packs of sugar free jello AND sugar free pudding without tearing that damned foil top they have on them) and then I of course lick the residue off the lid (including the part stuck to the adhesive on the foil) before digging in. I reached into my drawer only to find NO SPORK!!! DAMNIT!!! Not a spoon, fork, knife, nothing. I was frantic . . . I began cursing and throwing drawers open and closed, and stood up as if I was going to shout at the ceiling to curse the Lord himself when a neighbor noticed the commotion and offered assistance. They had a brand new (hence working within my germ paranoia parameters) box of forks and allowed me to have one. This extreme favor of fork salvation came in handy for that same coworker later today when they thought it would be funny to sneak up behind me and set a stuffed animal critter on my shoulder to surprise and/or startle me. I almost flung animal and coworker over the wall of my cubicle, and did proceed to bitch out the person and tell them they would want to back the hell off, and refrain from scare tactics with me again as they may not be lucky next time. I explained that this person (not mentioning names, but coworkers can probably guess anyway) might live longer and with their head maintaining proper positioning if they surprise others instead of me in the future, at least until I get this liquid diet finished.

So anyway, I enjoyed two jello cups and two pudding cups and an Atkins shake today for my lunch/afternoon snack. Yummy. A lady commented about my ability to lick the jello out of the bottom of the cup, and I told her that I always knew I'd find alternative uses for my tongue someday, and this was another one, LOL . . . She was impressed. Hey, when you are starving, you will amaze yourself at your resourcefulness. I was in more pain this afternoon than I had all weekend, but I attribute some of that to running around more and not being able to relax whenever I want and such. But my 6PM I was hurting. I am still hoping to stick it out at the office until Friday, April 6th. It makes the days go faster, and I like being productive.

So anyway, today is day 9 of liquids, with 15 more to go prior to surgery. I will have some days of it after surgery, but I will be so relieved by then that I doubt I mind it as much. Plus I will be full faster and hungry less often. All good things. Either way, I am sticking this out, and I am going to succeed with it. I have a lot of goals, and a lot of reasons to do this.