If you don't have anything good to say . . .

As usual, nothing great has happened. Not even anything funny. The holidays rapidly approach, and Paula and I are both fighting physical problems that lead to logitical problems which lead to fewer work hours, less money and more worry. Paula's got a referral to a wound care specialist on Friday, December 23rd. I am praying she not only gets some healing started, but some pain relief so she can feel a bit of comfort for a change. She has ranged from between some level of borderline agony to outright pain so bad I thought she might faint. She has routinely been getting between 3-4 hours sleep sometimes night after night. It has made her days miserable, and she still has the pain during the daytime. She has been a trooper, I must say. I think I would have went ballistic by now. She is just incredibly sad. That in turn makes me sad. Very sad.

I found out tonight one of my best friends, who I have known my whole life, passed away this week. I hadn't talked to him in a few years, but I still loved the man like family. Fred was a big influence on my life, and was fairly close friends with me during a time when few people were. He was a family friend, then my Sunday School teacher when I was in Junior High. When I was in high school and college he was always around when I needed a friend or was bored an wanted somewhere to go or someone to hang out with, and he always let me do odd jobs for extra spending money. Fred was just a good guy. No, a GREAT guy. Fred had a lot of friends and a wife and family that loved him. He was actually the current Mayor of my hometown, Roxana, Illinois, and this will be a huge loss to the village. I call my folks every Sunday afternoon, and they told me today he was buried yesterday. My heart sank. I will never forget him, he was always one of the kindest people I have known. An avid outdoorsman, he loved to hunt, mostly flying things. He also was a sports fan, a good singer, and a dedicated Christian. He had been fighting cancer off and on for ten years, but we always thought he had it beat again. Although I don't know how everything ended up, either way he was taken too soon. Fred, you will be sincerely missed.

It's times like this I miss home a lot. It is a cushion to have a loving family around and to be able at the drop of a hat to see them and spend time together. I am very close to my family, and feel the distance much more when I am sick, hurt or sad. I have had more than my share of all those in 2005, and can only hope that the new year brings new hope for Paula and I. Truly, our love and concern for each other couldn't be any better or stronger. But our physical problems have really worn down our resolve. The holidays we would normally be excited about, I mainly just want to get overwith so we can stay home and rest. And that makes me sad.