Daily Positive Affirmations

- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
- I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
- The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
- All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts
- Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
- I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
- I can change any thought that hurts, into a reality that hurts even more.
- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
- A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.